Lies My Brain Tells Me Part 2: It’s Not Good Enough

How many ideas do you have that you think aren’t good enough?  If I took the time to pay attention, I bet I think almost all of my ideas aren’t good enough, won’t work, aren’t worth it, or are dumb.  This ranges from whether I work out (“Ugh, I only have 15 minutes, that’s not worth it”) to whether I start a research project (“Yeah…that idea’s not good enough, and I’ll probably get scooped by a group that’s better equipped to answer that question”).  I have forgone napping when I’m physically exhausted (my Oura ring tells me so) because my brain says it’s a dumb idea, taking trips to see friends because the time I could spend is “too short,” and hesitated from volunteering for opportunities because my brain tells me that anything I do isn’t good enough.

My brain’s just trying to protect me: the status quo is safe because it’s known (even if lacking).  The problem with dismissing my fledgling ideas as “not good enough” means that I rob myself of getting the reps in to make things “good enough” faster and easier.  If I don’t take advantage of those 15 minutes I have to exercise most days, I’m left struggling through the hour-long workouts I schedule twice weekly.  Maybe those hour-long workouts wouldn’t be so strenuous if I took a quick walk (or even just stretched!) for 15 minutes whenever possible.  When I don’t get my little research ideas into the world, starting a “big” project with funding and co-PIs seems scary and unfamiliar to the point of paralysis.  My brain is trying to protect me but is holding me back in the process.     

So, how do we start to tell our brains that our ideas are good enough? Here are a few strategies that I’m trying out:

1.  Externalize your ideas: Write them down, say them out loud, or record a voice memo. This helps to get them out of the swirling mass of your brain and into a tangible form. Once they are out, they seem less fragile and more real.

2.  Challenge the "not good enough" voice: When you hear that voice, ask yourself, "Is this really true? What evidence do I have for this?" Often, you'll find that the voice is based on fear, not fact.

3.  Embrace the "good enough" philosophy: Instead of striving for perfection (which is often unattainable), aim for "good enough." This takes the pressure off and allows you to start and progress.  At work, I’ll tell myself, “Good enough is good enough.”  At home, when cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, my partner and I will tell each other, “Done is better than perfect.”

4.  Track your progress: Keep a record of your ideas, no matter how small or insignificant they may seem. Over time, you'll see that you're generating more ideas than you thought and that some of them are actually quite good.

5. Find a supportive community: Share your ideas with trusted friends, family, or colleagues. Their feedback can be invaluable in helping you to see the value in your ideas.

6.  Celebrate small victories: When you act on an idea, even a small one, celebrate it! This reinforces positive behavior and makes it more likely that you'll continue to act in the future.

It’s a process, and I don’t have it all figured out. Some days, the “not good enough” voice is louder than others. But I’m learning to recognize it for what it is—a fear-based defense mechanism—and not to let it hold me back. I’m trying to embrace the idea of experimentation and iteration. Not every idea will be a winner, and that’s okay. The important thing is to keep generating ideas, keep trying things, and keep learning.  I’m the co-chair of our institution’s Wellness Committee, and we’ve challenged our members to find a way for the members of their divisions to show appreciation for each other this month.  It can seem like a heavy lift: people are tired and overworked, and resources are tight.  I embraced my “good enough” philosophy and found a supportive community to make the “Hey, thanks buddy!” board you see above.  My colleagues are using Sharpie markers and Post-It notes to express their gratitude for one another.  Is it fancy?  Nope.  Could it have fallen flat?  Yep.  But now that I’ve done it, was it worth it?  100%.  And it’s giving me the confidence to try other asynchronous wellness activities for them in the coming months. 

What about you? Do you struggle with the “not good enough” voice? What strategies do you use to overcome it? Hit “reply” to this email and let me know!