The Power of Perspective: How Reframing Your 2024 Story Can Change Your 2025

As 2024 draws to a close, it's natural to reflect on the year that has passed. But instead of simply recounting events, consider taking a more intentional approach to telling your story – one that empowers you and sets the stage for a fulfilling year ahead.  At first glance, my 2024 was not great.  Just as I was coming out of the fog of my dad dying unexpectedly, I realized how tenuous my grandma’s health and independence were.  While navigating that, my physical health took a back seat, and I regained all the weight I lost a few years ago (and then some).  My wardrobe has become scrubs and sweats.  After a fall, we moved my (begrudging) grandma into assisted living with hospice care. After a few “fire drills,” as my uncle came to call them (her taking a turn for the worst, mobilizing the family, and prompting my rush up to Ohio to be with her), she eventually passed away just before Thanksgiving.  I’ve been telling myself that I will put my head down and get through the next month, and before I know it, it’ll be 2025.  

But where does that version of the story get me when going into the new year?  When the clock strikes midnight on 12/31/2024, I’ll be sad and exhausted, probably using food and wine to deal with my emotions and even further away from the person I want to be.  What if I didn’t have to change the realities of my story but could see it through a completely different lens?

Step 1: Find the Facts in Your Story of 2024

In my situation, the facts are:

1. My dad passed away unexpectedly in early 2023

2. I started to feel more like myself after about a year

3. Concurrently, I saw evidence that my grandma was not safe living alone

4. I took several trips up to Ohio to navigate a new living situation for her

5. I gained weight

6. Eventually, Grandma developed the terminal dwindles and passed away (“terminal dwindles” probably isn’t a factual term, but it’s a good one for what happened, so I’m going with it)

Each of those facts is inarguable.  Sure, there aren’t objective biomarkers to test them, but I can accept my feelings as my truth and then look at calendars, bank accounts, and the scale to prove the rest. 

Step 2: Celebrate Your Wins

It was easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of the daily to-dos of 2024 and overlook my accomplishments. I made all those visits home by being willing to ask my amazing colleagues for help.  Even more fundamental, I had the resources to pay for all that travel.  I spent hours and hours of quality time with my family in Ohio and with my grandma in her last month of life.  I ate and drank to cope with my emotions, but my brain was trying to take care of me the best way it knew how to, given the circumstances.  It was trying to regulate my nervous system so that I didn’t freeze (falling into such despair over my situation that I was no good to my grandma) or take flight (by being “too busy” with work in Nashville to avoid going up to Ohio to see my grandma) and attempting to bring my “fight” response down to something helpful and manageable.  Ultimately, I lived my narrative of what it means to be a good granddaughter, one who cares for her grandma, the last living member of her own family unit, with patience, generosity, and love.

Step 3: Find the Growth from the Challenges

Many of my coaching clients and medical learners have heard me say that life isn’t supposed to be always happy; risk does not feel good, so if we feel good all the time, we’re living small lives without risk.  Loving people is risky.  Staying connected with family is risky.  Asking for help feels very risky (especially for us in medicine).   After going through a challenging time, ask yourself:

• What did I learn from this situation?

• How did I demonstrate perseverance and resilience?

• What strengths did I discover within myself?

I learned that I could have a level of patience for others that I typically reserve only for my patients and their families.  I realized that my brain is just trying to take care of me when it suggests that third glass of wine and that I will have to acknowledge that if I want it to learn actions of self-care that don’t add to my waistline.  I demonstrated perseverance and resilience by continuing to show up whenever it seemed Gram needed me, learning ever-new tricks to navigate how the outpatient medical system cares for its elderly members.  I found that I have a level of figure-it-out that I hadn’t previously needed.  I discovered that I have the strength to ask for help from my colleagues, family, and partner.  

Step 4: Craft Your Narrative

Now, it's time to weave your experiences into a compelling narrative. 

1. Decide what aspects you want to emphasize. 

2. Identify the key positive and negative moments that have shaped the year.  

3. Highlight the strengths you’ve found with this exercise, strengths you’d maybe de-valued, forgotten, or never recognized before.  

4. Acknowledge your support system. Expressing gratitude to your support system improves your well-being and strengthens your connections with those who saw you through a troubling time.

How will I tell the story of 2024 in a way that serves me?  2024 was my year for family.  It came to be that way through the sad ending of my grandma’s life, but with it came time spent making significant connections with my family.  I spent more time with my aunts and uncles, my dad’s siblings, than I have since I moved away for college.  I had long, quiet, and peaceful moments with my grandma filled with loving support (both mine for her and hers for me).  My coping mechanisms won’t have served me well in the long term, but they were just what I needed to get to where I am now.  I wouldn’t have gotten here without my colleagues, family, friends, and partner, and I’m so grateful that I have them moving into this new year.  

Why This Matters

Telling your story in a way that serves you is more than just a feel-good exercise. It's a powerful tool for:

• Boosting Self-Awareness: Reflecting on your experiences helps you understand your values, motivations, and behavior patterns.

• Cultivating Gratitude: Focusing on the positive aspects of your year fosters a sense of appreciation and contentment.

• Building Resilience: Reframing challenges as opportunities for growth strengthens your ability to bounce back from adversity.

• Setting the Stage for Future Success: By acknowledging your achievements and learning from your mistakes, you set yourself up for continued growth and fulfillment in the years to come.

As you craft your 2024 narrative, remember to be kind to yourself, celebrate your wins, and embrace the lessons learned. Doing so will create a story that empowers you and inspires you to live your best life moving into 2025.