Where I Was Raised: Confronting Physician Suicide in National Suicide Prevention Month
As evidenced by the title, this piece is about death by suicide in physicians, which may trigger difficult emotions. If you are considering suicide, please text or call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 for help.
When I talk about where “I was raised,” I usually mean the formative years of my medical training at Seattle Children’s Hospital. It's a place that shaped me, both professionally and personally. It's also where I first heard about the alarmingly high rates of suicide among physicians, a reality that's stayed with me even today.
Given that September is National Suicide Prevention Month, and as someone who coaches women physicians on burnout, I felt compelled to write about this topic. I want to make sure that my people — all of you, whether you're a woman physician or not — feel supported and know where to find help if you ever find yourself contemplating suicide.
The Harsh Data
A 2019 systemic review and meta-analysis confirmed what we've known for a while: the medical profession carries a high risk of suicide, with women physicians facing an even greater risk than men. This echoes a 2005 JAMA report stating that female physicians are 250% to 400% more likely to die by suicide than other women.
While these numbers are declining, they're far from zero. And unfortunately, we lack data on the experiences of other essential members of our healthcare teams: nurses, respiratory therapists, and the countless others who contribute to patient care.
The Why
The reasons for this crisis are complex but familiar. Fear of seeking help for mental health issues due to professional repercussions, the emotional toll of patient outcomes, anxiety about litigation (real or imagined), perfectionism, the relentless pace of modern medicine, and even intimate knowledge of lethal means — these all play a role.
And then there's the simple fact that we're human beings with lives outside of work. We experience divorce, caregiving responsibilities, loss, and financial stress. As Dr. Pamela Wible, a researcher on physician suicide, observes, "I'm always surprised by how often nonmedical people tell me they are shocked that doctors have the same mental-health issues and personal problems that everyone else has."
Finding a Way Through
Most survivors of suicide attempts report that at the moment they chose suicide, they didn't necessarily want to die; they simply couldn't see any other way out of their pain. If you take away nothing else from this, please remember that there are other ways to make it through your pain. I know because I found them.
In college, I was suicidal for two excruciating weeks. It was a year after my mom died, and I’d run out of ways to distract myself from grieving properly. My grades had slipped, and horror of horrors, I was at risk of not graduating summa cum laude. You all remember those times. Those times when life happens, and then in a flash, you think your entire future is gone? I was in bad shape, and I told the one person I thought I could trust. He picked me up (literally and figuratively), and we found ways out of my pain. My mental health journey hasn't always been smooth, but that experience taught me a profound truth: there are always ways to recover from the pain. And there are for you, too. I promise.
Taking Action
This National Suicide Prevention Month, let's proactively support our mental health. Don't wait for your institution to change, be the change. Save the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline in your phone. Reach out to someone who supports your mental well-being, or be that person for someone else. Take care of yourselves, lovely friends. Doing so ensures we're all here to take care of each other.