When Life Gets Too "Life-y": My Top 5 Strategies for Navigating the Chaos

Do things feel like a bit much right now?  If you think so, you’re not alone.  I’m writing this on a prolonged layover I was never meant to have (thanks, American Airlines).  While the census at work has been mercifully light, we’ve packed a lot of complexity and complicated emotions into it.  I’m dealing with some annoying health issues. When life gets overwhelming, it's easy to feel lost in the chaos and seriously consider chucking it all and applying for a job at Starbucks.  Realistically, though, I could actually and truly walk away from the entire life I’ve created for myself if I wanted to.  I don’t have to work where I work, and I don’t have to have the relationships that I do.  But I’m not making moves to leave it all behind.  On some level, I’m choosing my life because I know it’s better than any alternatives.  That means learning to cope when the life I love gets too much, too “life-y.”  For your consideration (and possible uptake, should you find yourself in a similar position), here are five ways to navigate the chaos:

1) Digital Detox: Reclaim Your Peace of Mind

The world is a noisy place, especially online, and we carry that ruckus right along with us in the form of our phones. I was getting sucked into the endless scroll of news and social media, convincing myself I was "staying informed." In reality, I was amplifying my anxiety. Unsubscribing from email services that sum up the news and uninstalling those addictive apps on my phone has been liberating. If something significant happens, I'll hear about it.  I can always get to the desktop versions of newsfeeds and social media sites on my laptop and re-subscribe and re-install until my heart’s content when things calm down.

2) Email Boundaries: 30 Minutes and Done

Email can feel like a never-ending to-do list. But spending hours in your inbox is often a form of procrastination. Set a strict time limit – 30 minutes is my sweet spot – and tackle what you can. If I can’t sort my inbox in thirty minutes, the emails there are either 1) not acutely important or 2) complicated to the point they need a discussion, not another “reply all.”   

3) Early Bedtimes: Take Back That Time You Railed Against as a Kid

Some people can function at 100% with little more than a day's nap, but most of the population can’t (even those of us choosing specialties where we sometimes have to function at 100% with little more than a day’s nap). On a night when everything you have to do the next day is prepped to a strictly good-enough level, go to bed even though you think you have another two hours of work to do. Just humor me and try it. After a good night's sleep, you’ll feel so much better the next day that you’ll have a great day despite the “only good-enough” prep you did. 

4) Minimum Acceptable Baselines: Create Small Wins

A lie it’s easy to fall for after an off-the-rails week is that the only way to get “back on track” is to do everything 100% perfectly.  Don’t do it; you’re just setting yourself up for heartache.  Just like life ratchets up slowly to reach infuriating levels, it can’t be flipped back to the best-case scenario in the blink of an eye. Instead, set achievable goals – ones that are so easy you cannot fail. Maybe it's two workouts and a short walk this week instead of a full-blown fitness regime. Pile up the easy wins to gain momentum for the week and repeat.  

5) Deliberately Let Go: Release What You Can't Control

This one is a game-changer. Practice letting go of things outside your control. Sometimes, releasing physical tension can prompt the mind to release mental tension: try shaking out your hands like you do after you wash them and there are no towels, or open your mouth wide like a yawn to unclench your jaw.  Physical release, big breath, silent pep-talk: “Okay, you fantastic human, just let go.”  I can’t control American Airlines.  There’s not a whole lot I can do about my annoying health issues.  Acknowledging that I am not all-powerful frees up my brain to find agency where it does exist.

Life is messy, unpredictable, and sometimes wholly exhausting. Maddeningly, we must experience those parts of life to fully appreciate when it’s beautiful, surprising, and full of possibilities. When life gets too "life-y," don't despair. Embrace these strategies, give yourself grace, and remember—we’re in this together.